Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Not a good day to crap on my lawn

I'm tired of cleaning up other people's dog crap from my lawn. I clean up after my dog, yet had to pick up several foreign deuces yesterday when I mowed.

I had a bad day today, and I was in a foul mood to begin with, when I happened to see a woman walking her dog by my house during the middle of the day. I work from home, so I'm nearly always around. How unfortunate for this person.

I watched as she let her tiny dog do its tiny business, then walked on. I thought she'd come back, as I've seen her walking before. After she was a few blocks down the street, I went out and cleaned up her leavings with a Target-bagged hand. Then I came back in and waited.

She came by on her return trip about 5 minutes later. I had a feeling she was from the apartment building just down the street. I followed her the 6 or so houses with the Target bag in my hand. As she was about 20 feet in front of me, she turned to go towards the front door of the building. There happened to be a line of cars with their windows open just to my left, waiting for the light to turn green. I said in a loud, commanding, yet trying-to-be-polite voice "Excuse me, Miss, but your dog left this in my yard. I'm getting quite tired of cleaning up dog faeces from my lawn, and if I see you let your dog do this again I will be notifying the police."

Note: Yes, "faeces." I thought that if I typed it in the British way you'd understand how commanding, yet non-intimidating I was trying to be. Confrontational, possibly, but I really wasn't trying to intimidate her. Plus, "faeces" looks cooler, and everything sounds better with a British accent anyways.

She offered a completely shocked look, and an terribly ashamed "I'm very sorry about that," took the bag and quickly turned away.

As I turned and walked back home I thought I heard the faint sound of clapping from the cars as they drove off.

My wife shook her head as I recounted the story, as I often do things that embarrass the family, such as saying "You're welcome" to cashiers that fail to say "Thank you."

I was just not in the mood for this crap today. Literally.

10 comments:

Barbara said...

Ouch! Wouldn't want to get on your bad side!
Actually, I'm tired of it as well. I also don't understand why I'm forever finding litter in my yard. It's not like I'm on a major street either where heavier traffic might be the cause of more paper flying out of pick-ups or what have you.

Anonymous said...

King D,

How about setting up a webcam and broadcasting the offenders to the world!!!

yours,
d-boy

Bubble Head said...

Good for You! Wish I could have been there. I hate picking up Dog Doo when I don't own a dog. Everytime I see someone walking a dog and picking up their mess, I want too give them a big thumbs up!

Lost Kitty Needs a Home said...

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unl33t said...

*applauds*
well done.

Goon said...

Sounds like the neighbor dog, she likes to crap in my yard as well. I am thinking of buying a hockey stick and shooting it back at them.

Anonymous said...

I live in New York and dogs rule the streets here. People tend to pick up after their animals, but leave behind these big "smears" and rivers of urine all over. Between those and extended leashes, it's like double dutch walking home from work.

Don't get me started.

Anonymous said...

I am a dog owner and I ALWAYS clean up after my dog. I hate it when people don't. With that said, it probably would have been just as effective if you had confronted her without the audience. That would have shown respect for her rather than shaming her. You should ask yourself: did you want to solve the problem or did you just want to humiliate her for revenge. It sounds like the latter.

Coffee Guy said...

it probably would have been just as effective if you had confronted her without the audience.

She was walking into her apartment, the timing of which just happened to be when there were cars present. I didn't arrange for those cars to be present, nor did I wait for them to be so. It was just a fact of the situation. So, you are saying that I should have said to her "Excuse me miss, I have something to discuss, but I'd like to do so when there are no other people around"? Yeah, because a young woman is going to think that hanging around after a stranger says that is a really great idea. I'd be the one with the police complaint on my record. Thanks for the terrible advice.

That would have shown respect for her rather than shaming her.

But I don't have any respect for her. None whatsoever. She let her excrement (Yes, her's. She owns the dog, she owns its crap) remain on my property. Tell me again why I should have respect for her?


You should ask yourself: did you want to solve the problem or did you just want to humiliate her for revenge. It sounds like the latter.

I wanted to solve the problem of having to clean up her excrement. Mission accomplished. The humiliation involved is not my concern. Come to think of it, maybe the humiliation has made her think twice about doing it again.

Anonymous said...

Well said... the lady didn't deserve any respect in this case. I would have loved to have heard the clapping. :))